Introducing the DeManagement Consultancy
A copy of this document was enclosed in many high-profile business and political publications towards the end of 2007. As yet, there has been no attempt by any established group to claim responsibility for this inclusion.
What we do: Your enterprise is in decline. We will help you demanage this decline in an effective and efficient manner.
Our experience: We are experts in demanaged decline. Our clients are numerous and well-known, and only our anonymity clause prevents us from introducing them to you.
Our methods: We will arrive at a time of our choosing. When we arrive you will cancel all scheduled engagements for the foreseeable future. We will commence to present our understanding of your current situation in powerful ways that will shock and surprise you. Based on our analysis, itself drawing on the experiences of your key stakeholders, we will make numerous recommendations concerning the demanagement of your enterprise.
Our research: Our demanagement consultants examine at the entire lives of those who depend on your enterprise, both directly and indirectly. These examinations are based on sustained and detailed conversation and lengthy observation. We use a number of proven methodologies to synthesize and analyze our findings.
Demanagement: We define demanagement as “the means by which your inevitable decline is conducted humanely and with dignity”. In certain situations, demanagement can have the unfortunate side effect of causing you to reassess the very nature of decline, thus preventing you from being aware of it.
In all of the cases we have thus far dealt with, it is your need to manage and control your world that has led to your decline. Indeed, in most cases, management and control have proven to be both the primary concern of an enterprise facing decline and the reason for the enterprise being in decline.
Decline: The decline of your enterprise is linked intractably to the way you are measuring the decline of your enterprise. When faced with decline, a need for a measurement of this decline is often the first response of a traditional manager. However a trained demanager fully understands the nature of decline and is able to look beyond this first impulse towards the root causes of decline.
Our solutions: Our solutions are radical and may initially seem painful. You may feel as if you do not understand our solutions. This is normal and to be expected. You will grow to understand our reasoning as you become a more experienced demanager.
Our fees: Our fees may at first seem unorthodox. We may direct you to make a payment in a variety of monetary or non-monetary methods. Our anonymity clause prevents you from paying us directly.
Our guarantee: We offer a binding global guarantee. We are not able to make further guarantees to individual subsets of those covered under the global guarantee.
How to hire us: We are already working for you.
